Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Something I'll be working on for a few days.

I feel like being a lasy asshole so I'll put this on all of my blogs so I don't have to come up with Original Content today.

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

`"Things taste better outside .. ¬.¬ twat."`

Christmas.. was quite an occasion. I think this picture defines it. Literally eating so much I throw up.
Long story short I had a bet on whether I could eat a second plate of food in half an hour. And on the last bite I just.. threw up.
XD It was on the last 30 seconds as well. Damn.

Saturday, 24 December 2011

The Travels of David 1

A dark corridor. The growling of a pit bull. The smell of fear and the sense of despair. All thoughts were cleared from David's mind as panic began to set in. Trying to keep his mind off the situation David began digging dirt out of his nail with the nib of his biro.

Friday, 23 December 2011

Ahh SOPA!! SOPA is a bad cabbage!

Sorry for filling this blog with links for the past week, but I promise to get some original content for all my new followers soon.
And while I'm coming up with ideas here's a copy-right free video on SOPA that I suggest you torrent, megaupload, and upload to facebook.

Monday, 19 December 2011

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Good Rap Song?

Was linked to this song by a fellow tuber, and It's a pretty fucking awesome song. Is you want to download it you can through the mediafire link that the artist uploaded it to.
It's about inspiration, and working for things, and all that good shit, that you don't find in the mainstream anymore.

I am such a great and spectacular artist. -David Greenfield

So I have made this great and inspirational piece of artwork for all of you who are lower then me to grovel and submit your lives to. Avert your gaze weak ones, for this may blow your mind.

Yes. Look at the emotion. The simplicity. The fact that it only took me five minutes to create this masterpiece is astonishing if not a blatant blasphemy to the powers that be.
I will tell the story to those that cannot visualise such a powerful story in the visual form.

One bright summers evening Jeremy Hermanthanew, and David Summerfield, were having a relaxing drive through the countryside. -One such drive that is only possible through a consistent and unrelenting opposition to immigration which allows foreigners to dirty our sacred landscape with their uncivilised ways. Anyway I'm getting off topic. So, sacred land, pure white sheep, and low fuel efficient cars. Our great friends David and Jeremy were having a discussion on how to export those illegal immigrants still in our country. Jeremy had the idea that they should be all shot on sight. whereas David argued that this would be a waste of resources necessary to oppose the EU, and their wish to take away the British regime of bringing guns to countries that we go to war with.
Needless to say the conversation got quite heated and Jeremy took his eyes off the road. The car started to swerve. They smashed into the tree at full force and when straight through it, thanks to the car's brilliant lack of crumple zones.

Friday, 16 December 2011

Put your ass in the air.

This story was typed by a person who thinks it's a good idea to play youtube songs on repeat for extended periods of time. Read at your own risk.

'Jeremy, that's my name. Don't wear it out.' Tom said as he used his sexy-eyes technique on the girl at the bar. Tom was a 5'11" 20 year old slim built male. He liked to think of himself as a fine catch. The only problem was, that his sexy-eyes technique made him look somewhat like a cross between a rapist and a heroine addict looking for his next fix.
This combined with his bad wardrobe choice, wearing a long trench-coat, that made him look somewhat like a paedophile, meant that the exotic looking 20-something was a far bit freaked out by his sudden intrusion. In full fight or flight mode, the girl grabbed the bottle of pepper-spray that a few of her girlfriends had encouraged her to buy. Spraying our protagonist in the face with said pepper-spray, the girl let out a very aggressive scream, a battle-cry if you must. Even through the pain of pesticide-grade pepper spray Tom was still able to smile a bit as he realised how feisty this woman was. He started to congratulate himself on choosing such a courageous mate for the evening. But all thought stopped as the woman, realising that the pepper spray had finished, kicked him square in the balls. Her high-heels going straight through the fabric and sinking into something fleshy yet elastic. Tom blacked out.
Tom opened his eyes. Blinked. And looked around. He was lying on the ground, which was now white.. and had swallowed him up? Tom started to panic, looking around. Electronic equipment too complicated for his mind to understand, lights as bright as the sun. Tom realised that he must have been abducted by aliens. Then he started to feel the pain. So the aliens had castrated him? And that pub situation was just some crash way to make his brain deal with the trauma? Tom rested his head on the soft white ground again. And screamed all the air out of his lungs.
'What's wrong mister Hunter? You aren't due for more pain-killers in 2 hours.' Cold hands on his face.
'Who are you? Where am I? TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!!' Tom screamed. The hands left his face to reveal a human. Tom was confused, and a bit stunned.
'Mr Hunter, you're at George Cross hospital. I'm Doctor Staten You were the victim of an assault in a public house. Do you remember any of this?'
Tom nodded his head. 'Oh, we're in hospital?' Feeling the blush creep up his cheeks as he realised how many people must have heard his screaming.
'You were very lucky Mr Hunter, the heel went right through the middle of your scrotum, but missed your testicles by about 2 millimetres. After the skin heals you'll be good as new.' Looking over his head, the doctor added, 'Oh, and the person who assulted you road with you in the ambulance, she was very worried and wants to apologise for acting so brutishly.'
Tom looked past Dr Staten to see the exotic goddess of his dreams. The one-night-stand from hell. The proof that sexy-eyes worked.